You may know I have a boy who turned 13 exactly two weeks ago. Well Mr13 just grew about two centimetres in those two weeks. We know this because on his birthday we were eye to eye in bare feet. Today, while I was wearing thongs (that’s *Flip Flops* to you Americans; do they still call them “jandals” in New Zealand?) and he was barefoot, we were eye to eye already. He does not like this growing thing. He is busting through clothes. His feet are riDONKulous. And today we had to make a trip to Bunnings for some lengths of 4×2…
Earlier this week, the boy was sitting on the edge of his single bed, the same one he’s had since he was 2. I heard a sneeze, a crack and a yell. Dashing in to see what was wrong, I found him half on his back in the middle of the wonky bedside, caught out while leaning backward to put on a sock.
“What happened?!” I helped him up.
“I sneezed and broke the bed…”
Sure enough, the side plank holding up the loose slats had caved and snapped in the middle. That night we propped a wheelie box under it to hold him out until the weekend, when we could do the job right.
But truth be told, it wasn’t just the one sneeze that did it, the sneeze only broke the repair from years before…
One night, when Miss 5 was a wee bub and asleep in her cot, I was checking on her when I heard a big crack and a tumble. Running over, I see the boy’s bed was no longer holding its slats, and they were spilling out over a messy pile of splinters. The boy was standing on the bed in the far corner against the wall, holding onto the bedpost for dear life. His pop-eyed face was frozen with impending doom as I entered. 9.45 I think it was, my boy was only seven. He’d decided that a good way to tire himself out so he could finally fall asleep was to use his bed for a trampoline. The creaking and cracking sounds evidently did not bother him until he’d finished the job.
I was on my own, my husband away for work. I didn’t want to offer the boy the other half of my bed as the baby would often need to come in with me in the middle of the night too. I ended up calling a friend and neighbour, who at 10pm mercifully came around and performed an emergency patch job on the bed. Power drilling away while the baby slept and the boy danced around with all the excitement, my Good Samaritan neighbour saved the night.
Today, we had to finally replace that plank altogether. And- as a precaution- the corresponding one on his sister’s bed for the exact same reason. He managed to put a crack in that too. So tonight, the incredibly growing, power sneezing boy is back in a fully assembled bed again. For now.