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Funny Fruit and other ‘accidental penii’

by Twitchy on November 26, 2012

Not quite a fruit- but it is growing… Did any of you know that a couple of years back (at yet another stage of development) Melbourne’s famous Chadstone Shopping Centre looked like this from the air?

"I'll meet you in the left testicle and we can head off for a spot of lunch and shopping."

Is there anything much funnier than a phallic fruit? I don’t know exactly why, but the phallic fruit seems to gain a lot of attention and approval…from women at least. Of refinement and maturity.

Today, minding my own business, taking care of the green grocery list, my attention was taken by this happy guy. Well he certainly seemed happy. His good humor was infectious and my smile was instantaneous…when I thought of all the people whose day would be brightened by sharing our jovial moment. It was only my duty.

Like a bandit, I surruptitiously angled Mr Eggplant and Instagrammed him. I Facebooked him. I phone messaged my husband- anything to embarrass/bring a smile to him at work. Because life is absurd!

Mr Eggplant was a popular guy. I left him perched that way to welcome future customers, because Mr Eggplant’s gift should keep on giving.

20121127-005128.jpg“How *you* doin’?”

Then I remembered my 28th birthday at a Vietnamese restaurant- the one that had a special surprise for birthday girls… After dinner, they sent me out a gigantic deep-fried banana, set vertically with two giant fried icecream scoops below. All with sparklers going off. Yup. (I have photos but I refuse to inflict them here today.)

Late addition: Moving to another food group- I almost forgot about Mr Weiner’s Weiner. Unearthed in preparation for a barbecue 2 Sundays ago.


You see? Nothing but class here. This post would be so much better if you were all reading this drunk. For more in this (vein?!) please see www.accidentalpenis.com. My work here is done. *Runs away*

I’m participating in #Blogvember with Stella Orbit’s Blog. I’ll blog every day in November for a festival of awesome randomness. Also doing Fat Mum Slim’s PhotoADay November. Come again!






{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Kirsty Rice November 28, 2012 at 11:20 pm

You know when people say they laughed out loud. I REALLY laughed out loud. Thanks for the giggle xx


Twitchy November 28, 2012 at 11:25 pm

You’re welcome, Kirsty. You see when I say I know my DUTY, I KNOW MY DUTY. *takes another humble bow*

Kirsty @ My Home Truths November 27, 2012 at 9:36 pm

That’s exactly the sort of thing I would have done too – I’m virtually high fiving you right now!

Last week the guy I sit next to at work was bequeathed the biggest zucchini that has ever been seen – it surely was grown with the “good” fertilizer – the phallic jokes flew thick and fast. I don’t think he has taken it home yet, it was too big to fit in his backpack and he was worried about being seen carrying his huge zucchini on the train home!


Twitchy November 27, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Haha! Nice zucchini story. Would you believe I lost one follower each on Instagram and Facebook? How are good ole’ veges offensive? ;)

Grace November 27, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Ewww, ewwww, EEEEWWW! I will never be able to look at eggplants the same way again!!!


Twitchy November 27, 2012 at 8:26 pm

:D One of the reasons I didn’t buy him is the thought of y’know- chopping him up.

Lisa Barton-Collins November 27, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I think I need to start following you on instagram! How funny!


Twitchy November 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm

I do love my Instagram! I can’t guarantee you’ll find rude food on there again any time soon, but I’d love to see your more appreciative taste replace the follower I lost yesterday after posting that picture! :o

Alicia November 27, 2012 at 2:57 pm

That eggplant is hilarious! thanks for sharing the ridickulously funny photos.


Twitchy November 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I am heartbroken.How on this Earth did I miss THAT pun? It’ll go on the next tweet out, for sure. Thank you!

Kyla November 27, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I think I showed everyone that photo when I saw it on instagram – moments like that were just made to share


Twitchy November 27, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I thank you, Sir. Our work is important.

Ness November 27, 2012 at 10:28 am

Rahahaha saw it on FB yesterday, but still just as funny today. I think I need to get out more..


Twitchy November 27, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Yes, you do- to your nearest purveyor of green groceries. I await your photo essay.

Roxanne P-CH November 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

Brilliant! You’ve made my morning.


Twitchy November 27, 2012 at 10:09 am

*takes a bow* thanks for coming!

Lyndal November 27, 2012 at 9:13 am

bah ha ha ha that is AWESOME!



Twitchy November 27, 2012 at 10:10 am

I aim to please.

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