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Bah, Humbug! Rant ahead.

by Twitchy on November 29, 2012

I’m not talking about Christmas, which I don’t even celebrate. Christmas co-incides with our Australian Summer. And that means heat. And endless, unrelenting weeks of school holidays with an over-abundance of family quality time that somehow makes it no longer resemble quality anything any more. If that sounds ungrateful seriously: who needs seven full weeks off in a row? Like force-feeding yourself when you are no longer hungry. Or living on icecream. No one wants that ALL THE TIME.

I can survive the first 2-3 weeks rather well, we all need time off from the year’s routine and I have the creative and emotional energy to come up with things for us to do. It’s after this it becomes a problem. That’s when I’d be looking for a foster family to take pity on us. Or just me…

Or go back to school. Everyone has their limits.

I love them dearly, yes- but I do not have what it takes, to spend days and days and days and days and days and days and days etc on end, housebound with my offspring and little respite. I do not have all the reserves required (dollars, patience, heat tolerance, noise tolerance, 1,001 satisfactory responses to “I’m booooooooooored!” to name the main ones) in order to survive this time frame. Add to this my in-laws take their annual holiday break for 6-8 weeks now (who goes willingly into the harsh Northern Winter anyway?) and I am a head case.

The Girl wants to be taken anywhere and everywhere, every day and the requests just keep coming. (Cost is no object, of course.) I want to go to A/B/C/D/E/F/G/H/I/J/K’S house, right now. It matters not to her that planning is involved, or that half of them are away. I want to go to Luna Park. I want to go Flamenco dancing. I want a baby brother or sister. I want to ride in a hot air balloon! I want to go on an elephant ride. I want to go to Queensland. Can we go up in a helicopter? It matters not that Mummy won’t even drive anywhere in over 30 degree heat, let alone take her to *the beach* because I hate the beach when it’s crowded and hot and I’m a wilting, faint petal! Why doesn’t she ask to go to the beach when it’s colder, like a sensible person?

The Boy just stays up later and later, sometimes talking to me after 1am. He, by contrast, doesn’t want to leave the house, EVER. He camps happily in his room, glued to the laptop, creating his evil genius Mario movies for his fans. The more encouragement he gets, the more enthused he is to never leave his bedroom except for food and toilet breaks, and those are just an inconvenient biological imperative.

There’s very little I feel that can be done about all the above. We’ve already overspent the travel budget this year so there’s little likelihood of going anywhere at all. We don’t have a weekender property in the family (which is most terribly unthoughtful) so I just crumble into submission, make jugs of iced coffee, watch some classic movies and dream of school return.

Please tell me you have something better planned? If so, please send me a postcard- with a sanity saving wisdom on it.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right November 29, 2012 at 10:07 am

You’ve sparked an idea. Maybe there needs to be a bloggers’ commune, where bloggers and their kids de-camp to during school holidays. Free wi-fi for the mums and supervised activities for the kids, cocktails and cards every night (just like in those manor estate parties of ye olde days!). Who’s in?

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Twitchy November 29, 2012 at 10:11 am

BOOM! Sign me UP! (actually not such a crazy idea…)

Ness November 29, 2012 at 10:05 am

We are actually insane enough to have booked a holiday to the sunshine coast, which will involve a flight from Sydney with 3 boys aged 11,8 and 4. Then most likely they will still complain they’re bored the whole time, as it’s not the Gold Coast, so no theme parks. Can’t win.

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Twitchy November 29, 2012 at 10:16 am

The Sunshine Coast is lovely, so much to do and see. Failing that, do a power point check as SOON AS YOU ARRIVE ANYWHERE to make sure hand held games are chargeable at all times! IT’S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH!

Lisa B November 29, 2012 at 8:21 am

I go nothing for you, nothing. I’m dreading the same thing. I can’t help it, but I do. No annual leave for my partner this year as we just took 3 weeks off (retreat, I miss you). Dunno where you live but if you’re needing another head case to join you, feel free to scream via twitter…
Yours in dread…
Lisa

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Caroline November 29, 2012 at 8:10 am

I get really excited about holidays and for about 2 wks all is well. Then we’ve all had enough. :(

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Twitchy November 29, 2012 at 10:13 am

Like the all-you-can-eat buffet, it’s a good idea at the start. But where’s the school holiday equivalent of the stomach pump after gorging under duress, on said buffet?

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