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My Kids Say The Darndest Things III

by Twitchy on March 25, 2014

Love lost between my children this morning. For my part I couldn’t stop my own laughter…
Mr13 to Miss6: I went in your room to get a CD after you fell asleep. You turned over and farted three times…
Miss6 glowers: Not true! [Um- it would be]
Mr13 continues: What were you dreaming about? Being a SKUNK?
[Mummy intervenes at angry scuffle at the table while hand covers smirk.]

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Whoever said doing everything yourself is making a rod for your back, clearly never met my two.
Just asked Miss 6 to empty the dishwasher cutlery basket for the first time.
She opened the drawer and sneezed ALL over EVERYTHING.

Mr13’s Big Bang addiction certainly pays off when he asks me if I would like a “hot beverage”.

Miss 6: Mummy, I much prefer cashews to mustachios.

Mummy, would you rather be a Samurai or a medieval knight?” Oh lord, someone quick- what’s the right answer?? (Is it  “shush up and eat your dinner?”)

Miss6 comes out of bed: Mummy, I have a really big problem and you need to fix it!
“Oh, what is it?”
Miss6: I really, really, really, really don’t want to be the youngest sibling.
“But honey, that’s why we have a dog.”
Miss6 ignores: Please have another baby before I’m in grade 4. (Having final word, leaves room.)
*Mum slugs her evening vodka*

Earlier while making a costume hat for his sister, I asked my boy to find me some blu-tac, which he did. Just found one of his sister’s posters on the floor- fallen because… Well you guess.

How I love the morning routine. My kids are so co-operative!
Today I said don’t dress fully, come to the table in pyjama pants. Don’t rush your breakfast- sing the Aladdin duet.
Don’t brush your teeth, chase each other through the bathroom and laundry until I’m dizzy.
And don’t brush your teeth straight away, you don’t spend enough time dancing about admiring yourself in the mirror! The world can wait for my darlings!!

Mr13 to Miss6 at breakfast: Do you know what are bananas good for? Miss6: They help us skip better?

Miss6, dramatically: Mummy, I worked SOOO hard on your Mother’s Day presents at school today and I only did it for you!
Me: Did you? Well I hope you didn’t do it for any other mother of yours.
Miss6: *perplexed look*

Just asked kids what movie they want to watch tonight: Miss6 exclaims: “AFROPOLKADOT3!!” ?! (which Mr13 translates as the 3rd Madagascar movie and not again so soon please.)

Oh Lordy, my goodness me, Mr13’s voice is beginning to crack- today. He is not impressed. This follows on from this week’s earlier lament: “Muuum! I smell like a TEEEEENager!!! ” My poor baby.

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Living Serenely April 3, 2014 at 12:49 am

Your kids are hilarious! I wonder if they actually know how funny they are being at some level. It must be impossible to keep a straight face on throughout the day. I like your take on the morning routine… ^_^ if you can’t beat them, just join in the chaos (not!).

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Sonia Life Love Hiccups March 31, 2014 at 10:06 pm

LMAO “I smell like a teenager” I freaking love it! the statement not the smell bit ;) haha xx

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Twitchy March 31, 2014 at 10:28 pm

It’s not all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows any more. When he complains of pimples and such (poor boy) I make sure no one’s listening when I say, count your blessings you’re not an adolescent *girl*… (only a few more years to go for his sister, then look out!) :/

Trish MLDB March 29, 2014 at 12:44 pm

My boys always crack me up – I must write down more !

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Carolyn @ Champagne Cartel March 29, 2014 at 9:53 am

That’s so gorgeous! I really must write down the stuff my kids say – it all goes by so quickly.

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Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me March 26, 2014 at 8:56 pm

Hee hee gold – and so cute that your boy is ‘teaching’ her a few things, eg bananas. I never write things down (well apart from calm down notes) – I MUST DO IT x

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Lisa@RandomActsOfZen March 26, 2014 at 3:52 pm

These are so fabulous! They had better be a book in the making!?? x

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Becky from BeckyandJames.com March 26, 2014 at 11:40 am

I’m not a real fan of mustachios either… Just love posts about the things kids say. I hope you’re getting onto that whole baby thing for miss 6 – you’ve been told!

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Aroha @ Colours of Sunset March 26, 2014 at 7:59 am

These are great Twitchy, love your kids say the darndest things posts. And voice cracking and smelling like teenager!?!?!? NOOOO! I have blocked from my mind that that will happen to my sweet baby boy one day. :(

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Tegan March 25, 2014 at 11:39 pm

Haha love these. My brother’s voice has recently broken and it sounds so weird talking to him on the phone. At least I don’t mix him and mum up any more lol.

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Janet aka Middle Aged Mama March 25, 2014 at 6:20 pm

Oh the skunk comment had me nearly wetting my pants … some classics there for sure! What an entertaining household you have Twitchy ;-)

Visiting today from #teamIBOT baby yeah! xxx

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Twitchy March 26, 2014 at 12:14 am

That girl threw such a fit! Glad she hasn’t thrown a cereal bowl across the table at him yet, phew.

Kathy March 25, 2014 at 5:34 pm

What a crack up – mine have the same age gap as yours (almost 11 and 4) and they get on each others nerves big time. The little one says some very funny things, with our daughter it is the eye rolls and facial expressions that communicate so much (that and the little pushes, shoves and digs she gives her brother).

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Twitchy March 26, 2014 at 12:15 am

Yes, this is something I really looked forward to as they grew together. I actually told my husband I couldn’t wait for her to grow up and be an annoying little sister. Wish came true!

Josefa @always Josefa March 25, 2014 at 4:27 pm

I love these conversations! They do say the funniest things sometimes, and thankfully too, breaks up the crazy in the day sometimes xx

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Jen March 25, 2014 at 3:58 pm

I really do enjoy your take on the world. You manage to capture the chaos with such warmth :)

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Twitchy March 26, 2014 at 12:13 am

I love this comment Jen! Thank you :)

EssentiallyJess March 25, 2014 at 2:57 pm

That skunk comment is gold!!!

And for what it’s worth, I’d rather be a medieval knight than a samurai. I just think I would rock that suit of armour :)

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kaz - melting moments March 25, 2014 at 1:00 pm

These are just so priceless, thanks for the giggle :)

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Me March 25, 2014 at 12:24 pm

So funny !!! I think having more than one definitely provides more laughs (along with more squabbling and fighting and arguing and teasing !!!)
Have the best day !
Me

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Emma Fahy Davis March 25, 2014 at 11:46 am

Mustachios! I love it!

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Toni @ Finding Myself Young March 25, 2014 at 11:40 am

LOL I would be laughing so hard hearing the farting story too. I already can’t keep a straight face when my 8 month old smacks daddy when he’s being silly or accidentally says NO at the right time. Its gonna be so hard when she starts doing stuff like this.

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fairydust March 25, 2014 at 9:29 am

how cute are they together with their antics x

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Emily March 25, 2014 at 8:17 am

Haha, love it! I love recording the crazy things they say. Have another baby before I’m in grade four. HAHA!

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Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit March 25, 2014 at 6:53 am

LOL.
I am so glad you write these things down. I always forget and just like that the pearls of wisdom and pieces of comedy hour are gone forever ….
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

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